why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
