Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
