So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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