you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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