you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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