So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
