Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
