that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
