if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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