Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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