yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
