Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
