Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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