Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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