i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
