I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize