a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
