i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
