I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
