He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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