I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
