sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
