I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
