Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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