Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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