i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
