Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
