That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
