The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
