Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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