Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
