I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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