Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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