D3 body, D1 cock
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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