I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
