I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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