after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
