I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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