Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
