they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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