Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this just has baby written all over it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
