I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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