i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cannot find my penis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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