just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
