i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
