hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
