I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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