The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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