we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
