I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
