Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
