I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
